Kiss the Mini-van Goodbye!

This post was written by Mary's husband, Keith, aka: Daddy.

In 1996 (or was it 1995?), we got a cheap minivan, used, from a State of South Dakota auction.  Light blue, with essentially no features beyond a radio and some AC.  You could remove the seats, and those damn things weighed a ton, but we had room!  We ran the hell out of it.

In 2000, we bought another used van, but this one was wrecked. 

'97 Dodge Grand Caravan...

  My brother Ward did most of the work while I stood around looking pretty much useless.  All in all, the red Dodge Grand Caravan was really an excellent vehicle for us.   We put about 190,000 miles on that thing... and it just chugged along.  Here it is on a trip to Wyoming, camping south of Jackson Hole...

A wonderful family camping trip to Wyoming. This was in 2005-- Mary was pregnant and didn't know it. :)

Heh... that picture almost looks like it could be from a Dodge advertising campaign.  The Grand finale for that van came in 2007.  We sold it to a television producer, and it got used in a lame "reality" tv show.  Couples had to drive it through an obstacle course-- with the driver blindfolded.  The last time we saw it was on TV... :)

So that brings us to 2007.  That was the year, in July, that we bought a Brand New Van.  That Dodge had run so well for us, and had held up so beautifully, that we bought a Chrysler Town & Country.  Wow... stepping up in the world! Right after we bought that, of course, we road-tripped to Grandma's house in Wyoming...

Little Gracie after a long trip. Meeteetse Wyoming in July of 2007

Where the Dodge was great, the Chrysler was not.  But it was NEW and we would not realize how poorly engineered this vehicle was for a few years.  There were minor "annoyances", like map lights that stopped working even though they had good bulbs and fuses.  There were larger annoyances, like the power sliding door mechanism that died 3 times because the design of the wiring cable that feeds power to the door was just horribly done.  There were Major "annoyances", like transmission work and oil leaks from nearly every gasket in that engine.  What the hell?  Chrysler probably should have just gone bankrupt and shut their doors.  That van has to go.... but what do we buy now?  We've had minivans for 16 or 17 years.

Well, 2 years prior to buying that brand new van, I bought a truck.  My awesome little Nissan Frontier.  We bought that truck in August of 2005.

My '05 Frontier. Shot taken in June of 2012.

Here it is in June of 2012, still lookin' great.  In fact, it IS a really great truck-- best vehicle I have EVER owned.  Over 101,000 miles on it now, and I have not had to do ONE single thing.  The only "annoyance" thing was my own fault-- I froze the windshield washer tank when I took it hunting-- so it leaks now.  But consider this.  That truck went 92,000 miles on TWO of the original tires.  I STILL have not changed brake pads on it!  When I had tires put on-- I asked them to evaluate the pads, and they said I probably have another 10 to 15 thousand miles of wear on them.  They couldn't believe I had NEVER serviced the brakes....and I still haven't

So... the search for a van replacement began, and it was heavily influenced by my experience with my truck, as well as the fact that my daughter Katie bought a Prius and gets incredible gas mileage.  Mary was tired of filling the 20 gallon tank after only driving 320~350 miles.  Yeah... 17 mpg running around town.  Booooo.  Perhaps it was time for a CAR instead of a van...

and that's what we did.  We looked at Hyundai Sonata, Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, VW Passat (TDi), and the new Nissan Altima.  The Altima has the same 2.5 liter - 4 cylinder engine as my truck.  It is paired to a newly-engineered CVT transmission, and the whole package is rated at 38mpg highway and 27 city.

Just before driving off the lot, December 1, 2012.

So... we bought a 2013 Nissan Altima. :)  If it is only half as good as the Frontier, we will have made an excellent purchase!

Driving the Lizard Taxi

November 8th, 2012

There was a lizard in my van! I got the kids in the van, nagged at them to buckle up even though they should know by now that's what should happen next. You get in, you sit down, you buckle up. Every single time! Anyway, nag, nag... they hear nothing and I shut the doors and got into the driver's seat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in the middle of the van. No clue what it was! But it was alive and moving! I see it! A LIZARD!!!  I screamed as loud as my little lungs could and hopped out! Because I screamed, so did Libby, she then stood on her carseat (it helped that they didn't listen to my nagging pleas to buckle up). While Libby and I were screaming and flailing about, Gracie just laughed hysterically.

A lizard! In my van! It flitted so fast, but I saw where it went, under the passenger side front seat. Yup, there is was. Little guy, but he was lively and quick. And he wasn't welcome in the van.

I had ten minutes to drive Gracie to school, and it takes 12 minutes to get there. There are 5 stop signs and 6 traffic lights in between the driveway and the school. Sometimes I hit every light on red. Of course that will happen on a day that I am running short on time. All of that screaming in the driveway took up too much valuable time.

We opened all the doors and tried to convince the lizard to leave. Just go! It wouldn't. It cowered further under the seat. Since we were running out of time, we decided it had to come along for the ride. We used Gracie's jacket to stuff under the seat and create a barrier so that it wouldn't escape and crawl on Libby. She was pretty nervous about that, as was I.

Actually, I was afraid it would crawl across to my side and touch me. I had on my Mary Jane shoes without socks, exposing a little bit of the top of my foot.  I drove the whole way to school half freaked out and I kept an eye on the floor at all times!

I thought about Fenna and how freaked out she would be if I were driving her to school with a lizard under her seat. 

Got the kid dropped off at school, then I stopped and inspected under the seat for that little stinker. Not sure, but I think he's still there, or maybe that's a piece of the hardware under the seat. Of course he's still there, where else would he go? Under my chair? I had to get home!

Libby wants to stop and get a donut. No way! We are going home and getting rid of this lizard! As long as we're moving, he seems to be too scared to come out. I voted for keeping him frozen with fright.  We got home and opened every door to the van. I took everything out of it: jackets, toys, books, blankets, trash, picnic blankets, stroller, wagon, etc. There's always lots of "etc" in my van.

Then, I sent the dog in there. If that lizard was still in there, the dog should be able to chase it out! The dog found some old french fries and lost interest in being in the van. Guess the lizard made his escape when I was unloading. Good!

I looked under the seat and there he was! Ugh! Time to bring out the big gun. Bigger than the dog! I went and got the vacuum. That little guy will surely be frightened and make his escape! First, I vacuumed the driver's side, front and back, because he was on the passenger side and if he had any brains at all, he would run out the passenger side doors and be gone.

No. He's a stupid lizard.  Fine, I'll scare the tail off of him and scare him across the other way.  I vacuumed the passenger side of the van. Then I went around and vacuumed the trunk. Might as well. The lizard was either gone or hiding deeper under the seat. I couldn't see him. I think he's finally gone. Success! Oh, no, wait, there he is. I could just barely see him under the seat.

It was now almost time to go pick up Gracie from school. I've spent my entire day trying to evict a lizard!

Libby and I went inside to grab a quick lunch and regroup from our lizard chasing. Maybe he'll leave if we give him some quiet freedom. We needed a little break. Lizard hunting is hard work.

Time to drive the lizard back to school. I do not want to drive while staring at the floor and knowing that thing will touch my foot! What if it scampers over my feet! I will freak out and we'll all die! I need boots. Good thing Fenna left her boots here, I pulled them on and declared myself ready to drive the lizard taxi. Libby wore her boots too. We're taking all precautions.

Back out to the van. I opened the doors and he's still there! Right in the middle! And, he pulled a wheat thin cracker out from under the seat too. Guess he was planning on feasting and staying  a while. Crazy lizard! My screams scared him under the center console. Great, now he's even closer to the driver's seat. This is not ideal!

Why won't he leave?

You know what I need to do? I need to get a professional to get him out. I've been at it for hours and made no progress. I know exactly who I need to ask for help. This lizard will not reside in my van!

I went to the school, Lizard stayed under the console and I was only a little freaked out while driving. I parked, got Libby out and we walked into the school instead of going through the pick up line. When I saw Gracie's teacher she gave me the generic friendly, "Hi! How are you!" And I said to her, "Actually, I need some help." Libby nodded, adding genuine sincerity to the situation.

She was immediately concerned. As she should be, I was having a lizard crisis after all. "What's the matter?" I told her in complete seriousness, "Only an expert can help me. I need help from the Lizard Whisperer."

Her expression went from confused concern to resolve. "Do you have a lizard in your car?" "Yes" She said, "I'll go get him". Thank goodness! I would have fallen apart if he wasn't in school today! The teacher's son is passionate about lizards and he calls himself  "The Lizard Whisperer". This is common knowledge at school. I'm so happy I happened to know this!

Nine-year-old lizard loving Bradley was more than happy to help! He ran to my van, not caring if there were any cars ready to run him over in the parking lot, he was on a mission! I couldn't open the doors fast enough for the kid. He dove in head first and like the lizard genius that he is, he located it in an instant.

He grabbed a set of fast food chopsticks from the center console, good thing I had that random item available, and he used one to poke under the seat, where the lizard was hiding again, and shoo the lizard out. He didn't poke the lizard, just used the chopstick to shepherd the thing out. As soon as it fled from the chopstick, he grabbed it with his other hand.

Captured!

It took the Lizard Whisperer less than a minute to capture the beast and I worked on it all day long. Sure, my method was a lot less "hands on", but since he's an expert in lizard behavior I decided to give myself some grace and not let my pride be hurt by this little boy.

Bradley skipped off back to the school building with a huge smile on his face to show his mom his new prize. The lizard might end up a classroom pet, a resident of the teacher's car, or maybe he found a new home in the school landscaping. I do not know. But, he's out of my van and I can once again drive while watching the road. Whew!

Thank you, Lizard Whisperer! You have a true talent!

Las Vegas with the Little Kids

We've driven right through Las Vegas many times, usually in the middle of the night. The desert is too hot so we plan our roadtrip so that we pass through the high desert during the coldest part of the night; in August that means 90 degrees at 3am. The kids are usually passed out in their carseats while we ooooo and ahhhh over the sight of the lights. And, we just keep going.

This trip, I decided we would stop and really see Las Vegas.  I wanted to see it, Fenna wants to see it (again - she was there 2 years ago), and the kids are too small to understand that it isn't a kids' place. If I am ever going to see Las Vegas, now is the time.

 I found a great deal on a room at Circus Circus for $24 per night plus a $9 facility fee. They had cheaper rooms in their little side motel but didn't know how "ghetto" that would be since I couldn't find a good review for it online.  At $24 per night, the upgrade would probably be worth it, my prediction was spot on! The room was actually very nice.

Everyone I know seems to love a nice soft mattress with a pillow top. This is what they had at Circus Circus. While I appreciate a newer bed that isn't permanently body-dented and doesn't look like a teacup, I'm not a big fan of soft mattresses.  Sure enough, it felt great at first. Ahhhh, but then as I sunk in, I felt like I was drowning in the mattress. It wrapped around me and I couldn't roll over. I kept waking up fighting to get myself out of my hole so I could turn this way or that.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's first discuss our arrival:

Driving from California to Las Vegas on a Sunday afternoon, the westbound side of the freeway was clogged and barely moving from Victorville all the way into Las Vegas. Crazy! And yet, good for us. Everyone is leaving Las Vegas and we won't have to battle a crowd. Score!

We got off of the freeway and rounded the corner to find the hotel just fine. First thing I saw was the "Motel Manor" which is where the cheapest rooms are. Really glad I upgraded. The manor did not look appealing in any way! Parking was easy enough too. The parking garage was ugly and the spaces were pretty tight, but I squeezed my big fat van into a spot.

By the way, the super filthy parking garage floor is not the ideal place to rearrange your packed bags. Just saying....

We went down an old filthy elevator where I suddenly found religion. I prayed with all my might that it worked and we'd land safely on the ground floor. And I prayed the rest of the hotel was in better condition.

Arriving in the lobby, we discovered we had to wait in a really really really really long line just to check in to the hotel. I've never seen such a thing! The line went all the way from the check-in desk all across the lobby. We got in line and it immediately filled in behind us. There were a lot of families with children so I guess I'm not the only one who thought Las Vegas was doable with children. It took us 55 minutes to get from the back of the line to the check-in desk. With kids who have been strapped down all day long and they have to go potty, it was a long hour.  We had no trouble checking in but we had a long walk to our room. We had to take one set of elevators up to the Adventuredome floor, walk a long way and then took another set of elevators to the floor where our room was. Felt like a mile.

That evening  we needed a place to have dinner. My brother who lives in Las Vegas met up with us for dinner. The restaurants in the hotel were full and there was a 45 minute wait for a table at the restaurant that we had a coupon for, Rock and Rita's. We decided we'd just eat at the buffet. No waiting and food for any mood. The only thing I don't like about buffet dinners is that I have to be the waitress. I was so tired at this point in the day that I decided to stack the plates on my arm just like I did in my old waitressing days. My arms are fatter and softer now, you'd think I could stack more plates on, but no, three plates is my arm balancing limit. That's ok though, saved me a few trips to the buffet and back. Just proves that when I could stack three hot plates on my skinny little arm way back in the day, I rocked! Another thought, why did they seat us so far away from the food?

Since we  had the buffet, we had to have three deserts each. It's like a buffet rule. Even though we were tired, we had to walk off some of the billions of calories, or at least shake 'em down in a bit more. We wandered through the Adventuredome in the hotel. All we did was wander, there were plenty of rides and games for the kids but Fenna didn't want to ride the roller coaster alone (I am not a roller coaster girl) so we didn't end up doing anything beyond wandering and looking. That was enough fun for me at the end of a long day, but Fenna is a teenager and there is no such thing as "done" when it comes to having fun.

The next day was our only full day in Las Vegas. Whatever we are going to do, we're doing it today! We showered and put on fresh clothes and fresh smiles and went out into the stinky air of Las Vegas. You know, the city really smells awful. People smoking, body odor of the all night party crowd lingers in the air, greasy fast food, car exhaust all amplified by the  heat. I'd sure hate to smell this place in the summer.

We started by trying to find the amazing Circus acts that the hotel boasts. After a big long search, we found it and we arrived just as it ended. It didn't look like much though; I don't think we missed much of anything spectacular.  Fenna and I decided it didn't look like it would be worth waiting around for the next show time. We had lunch at McDonald's in the hotel before we set off to see the sights. Yes, McDonald's again. Blech. This is where the people who do not win big eat.

We got a map of the strip and realized we were at the far end and it would be quite a long hike to walk, although it didn't look too bad. We got the van out of the parking garage and drove about halfway down the strip. Oh my goodness, it is a long way!  The street was closed so we had to turn around and since we didn't find a place to park we ended right back in the Circus Circus parking garage. Got a better parking spot this time. Well, that was not what I had in mind when I thought we'd go see the strip. A better idea: let's ride the public transportation and then we can ride it back again. Why didn't we think of that before?

Once we finally got to the strip where you could see some sights, we walked.  And walked and walked and walked. We wandered through a mall. It was beautiful!

After that we wandered outside, walking further south along the sidewalk. We saw beautiful buildings and were grateful for the nice sidewalk bridges.

 

Much to Gracie's delight we saw the Eiffel Tower. She was very excited! She wants to go to Paris France to see the real one, but this fake one was good enough to satisfy her. And, this is the only thing she told her school teacher about when we got back after a 10 day trip.

Walking along we intermittently went through beautiful and ugly. I couldn't wait to get off that sidewalk and away from the crowd! Fenna and Gracie were whining about it being too far and too hot and too disgusting.  Agreed. It was. There were people openly drinking and smoking everywhere, and this wasn't even the nightlife crowd. Yuck. On every corner there were at least three or four people handing out pornography advertising. Luckily, they didn't try to hand it to the kids but they did try to hand it to Fenna. She just walked on by and didn't take anything.  There was a lot of these advertising cards on the ground on every corner, so if the kids looked down they saw the pornography. There was also a lot of advertising on signs and on passing trucks. Gracie is just learning to read and she could read the words "Hot Babes". Guess we should have made this trip last year before she could read short words. We saw lots of scantily clad people, plenty of ugly tattoos, and a variety of people dressed as characters. The characters were not the type you'd want your children to go near. This sure wasn't Disneyland. 

My brother met up with us again and he walked with us to M&M World and the Coke store. Those were nice! We had a lot of fun looking at all of the M&M and Coke merchandise. In the M&M store we saw a 3D m&m movie which was very cute. We bought some m&ms and had a variety tray of Coke afterward. Lots of sugary sweet fun!

We caught the bus back to the hotel and Fenna thought maybe we could come back out after dark to see the lights and hopefully see a free pirate show at Treasure Island. I told her no, we aren't going out on the street after dark. I didn't want the little kids out in the sunset crowd. The daytime crowd was bad enough.

That evening my brother's roommate invited us to dinner at the restaurant where she works so we drove across town and had a nice dinner with him and his friend and her little boy. We ate at Chili's. Good food, good company and the residential side of Las Vegas is clean and nice!  It was great!  

This ended our tour of Las Vegas. In the morning we loaded up, checked out and hit the road. Off like a herd of turtles!

I am glad I got to see a little bit of Las Vegas. Now I can truly say "I've been there".  But, I think I only experienced a taste of sin city, and that's all I need to experience. I told the kids to say good bye to Las Vegas because they won't be back for another 20 years, at least they won't be stopping. We're going right back to just driving right on through on the interstate in the middle of the night. Smelly Las Vegas is not a place for little kids.

The Long Road

We made it there and back again! Again. The road is a long one, but we've traveled it many times and we know it well.

From Southern California to Wyotana and home again. My brother dubbed it "Wyotana" and the name fits. "Home" is both Montana and Wyoming.

This trip we took will take several blog posts to tell all of the tales from the road, so I will just summarize it here for you.  We, and by "we" I mean myself, Fenna (our exchange student), the little girls Gracie (6) and Libby (3.5) and my brother Ed, traveled 2400 miles in my sexy mini-van. We visited the states of California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Montana and Wyoming in nine days.  We saw friends, relatives and mules, toured historic places and quirky places too. We drove and ate and slept all together listening to each other dream out loud, snore, and kick in the night. We swam in the pool and threw snowballs at each other.  It was a fabulous vacation!

I am still worn out from the long road, but the mountain of vacation laundry is all done and put away. Hundreds of photos are posted online. We can start our days fresh and look back on this vacation with plenty of good memories because this time, the long road was very kind to us. So glad to be home again, but sad that the trip is over.

Soon, we'll travel on the same long road again.

High Fiving Myself!

I fixed my mini-van! ALL BY MYSELF!!!  Woot!

Wonder when my husband will notice? I'm not going to tell him, I'll just wait it out. Back in November, my left tail light went out. I haven't had a rear left blinker since! Santa put new bulbs in my Christmas stocking and Keith said he would change them.

In fact, my husband said he would fix my blinker at least once a week since November. It is February now, and I no longer believe him. I told him I was going to do it myself and he laughed.

I figured this repair was complicated. After all, my husband hasn't had time to devote to the project in months (and he had a 2.5 week break over the holidays from work).  Curiosity got the best of me though, and I googled. The first thing that came up was a youtube video.



I watched it once, ran to the garage and got the tools and scurried out to the driveway.

Ten seconds later (give or take) I came back in the house rejoicing and high fiving myself! I did it! And it barely took any time at all. I can't believe it was so easy. My husband was home, but in his "man room" so he has no idea.

My tail light works again! My blinker works too! I fixed my van!