Pierre... Not this year.

Well, we hoped for several years, then we planned loosely for a year or so, then we Seriously planned in a very Hard-Core way for another fifteen months or so-- including buying our own house back last summer from the people we sold it to when we moved in 2003-- that was really pretty damn amazing thing all by itself.  That hard-core planning also involved a lot of help and assistance from people in Pierre.  But, sometimes just when you're ready to swing on that final fast ball to get that "home"run, God pitches you a curve ball that catches you off guard.  Such is Life-- right?

Our Pierre Home during our fun Winter Vacation last January. Yes. Pierre South Dakota can be Fun in January. :)

So, what's up?  A family problem prevents us from moving-- and family needs will always supersede.

I know this is disappointing to many people.  I want to say thanks to the many, many family and friends in Pierre (and elsewhere in South Dakota) who have been looking forward to our return.  I know I pumped you guys up with "We're Coming!!!"-- and I want to let all of you know that I firmly believe Pierre is still in our future.  I just can not say for certain the means by which we will make that happen, or exactly when.  I guess I need more batting practice hitting curve balls. ;)

For our California friends, I know this is "happy" news for you as you hear that we are definitely staying for the time being.  Between the amazing group of caring people I work with out here, and the incredible friendships Mary has developed, we feel truly blessed.  Thank you all for being supportive.

In the meantime, even though we are not moving this year... NO-- we are not selling our house in Pierre-- I remain that hopeful & resolute.  On the other hand, we will be looking to rent it out soon.  Do you know someone who would like to rent from us and take Wonderful care of our Wonderful house?  I will be in Pierre taking care of some things at the house next week (~ Thursday, 5/30 to Tuesday, 6/4, and it would be great if I could get a renter set up during that time.  Please send me a message if you know somebody!

Thanks people! :)

Keith, Mary, and the girls!

Kiss the Mini-van Goodbye!

This post was written by Mary's husband, Keith, aka: Daddy.

In 1996 (or was it 1995?), we got a cheap minivan, used, from a State of South Dakota auction.  Light blue, with essentially no features beyond a radio and some AC.  You could remove the seats, and those damn things weighed a ton, but we had room!  We ran the hell out of it.

In 2000, we bought another used van, but this one was wrecked. 

'97 Dodge Grand Caravan...

  My brother Ward did most of the work while I stood around looking pretty much useless.  All in all, the red Dodge Grand Caravan was really an excellent vehicle for us.   We put about 190,000 miles on that thing... and it just chugged along.  Here it is on a trip to Wyoming, camping south of Jackson Hole...

A wonderful family camping trip to Wyoming. This was in 2005-- Mary was pregnant and didn't know it. :)

Heh... that picture almost looks like it could be from a Dodge advertising campaign.  The Grand finale for that van came in 2007.  We sold it to a television producer, and it got used in a lame "reality" tv show.  Couples had to drive it through an obstacle course-- with the driver blindfolded.  The last time we saw it was on TV... :)

So that brings us to 2007.  That was the year, in July, that we bought a Brand New Van.  That Dodge had run so well for us, and had held up so beautifully, that we bought a Chrysler Town & Country.  Wow... stepping up in the world! Right after we bought that, of course, we road-tripped to Grandma's house in Wyoming...

Little Gracie after a long trip. Meeteetse Wyoming in July of 2007

Where the Dodge was great, the Chrysler was not.  But it was NEW and we would not realize how poorly engineered this vehicle was for a few years.  There were minor "annoyances", like map lights that stopped working even though they had good bulbs and fuses.  There were larger annoyances, like the power sliding door mechanism that died 3 times because the design of the wiring cable that feeds power to the door was just horribly done.  There were Major "annoyances", like transmission work and oil leaks from nearly every gasket in that engine.  What the hell?  Chrysler probably should have just gone bankrupt and shut their doors.  That van has to go.... but what do we buy now?  We've had minivans for 16 or 17 years.

Well, 2 years prior to buying that brand new van, I bought a truck.  My awesome little Nissan Frontier.  We bought that truck in August of 2005.

My '05 Frontier. Shot taken in June of 2012.

Here it is in June of 2012, still lookin' great.  In fact, it IS a really great truck-- best vehicle I have EVER owned.  Over 101,000 miles on it now, and I have not had to do ONE single thing.  The only "annoyance" thing was my own fault-- I froze the windshield washer tank when I took it hunting-- so it leaks now.  But consider this.  That truck went 92,000 miles on TWO of the original tires.  I STILL have not changed brake pads on it!  When I had tires put on-- I asked them to evaluate the pads, and they said I probably have another 10 to 15 thousand miles of wear on them.  They couldn't believe I had NEVER serviced the brakes....and I still haven't

So... the search for a van replacement began, and it was heavily influenced by my experience with my truck, as well as the fact that my daughter Katie bought a Prius and gets incredible gas mileage.  Mary was tired of filling the 20 gallon tank after only driving 320~350 miles.  Yeah... 17 mpg running around town.  Booooo.  Perhaps it was time for a CAR instead of a van...

and that's what we did.  We looked at Hyundai Sonata, Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, VW Passat (TDi), and the new Nissan Altima.  The Altima has the same 2.5 liter - 4 cylinder engine as my truck.  It is paired to a newly-engineered CVT transmission, and the whole package is rated at 38mpg highway and 27 city.

Just before driving off the lot, December 1, 2012.

So... we bought a 2013 Nissan Altima. :)  If it is only half as good as the Frontier, we will have made an excellent purchase!

Things That “Piss” Me Off About Potty Training - 10 “Crap”py Products and Advice Meant to Help Me Help My Child

Guest Blogger today is Audrey, my friend and potty training confidant. We see eye-to-eye on this potty training stuff. She wrote this fantastic blog post and I am happy that she's sharing it on my blog as well. Audrey lives nearby, she is an amazing stay-at-home mama who cooks and gardens and bakes and all of that wonderful stuff that amazes me; she has a 3 year old son in the midst of potty training. You can visit Audrey's blog: Thatrecipe.com

Our first attempt at potty training was an abysmal failure that resulted in a skinned knee (his), some tears (mine) and general frustration (all three of us).  In order to cope I could either complain or make jokes. Or better yet, do both.
So, without further ado, I present the following list of products and advice I have found along this section of the parenting journey:

1. ADVICE: Use the term “toilet learning” instead of “potty training”: my husband and I were potty trained, so were our parents and grandparents (ok technically some of them may have been “outhouse trained”), why did we need to invent a new term? I wish the braintrust that came up with this one would stop wasting time on this nonsense and spend it on really useful endeavors like solving world hunger, curing male pattern baldness, or convincing the NCAA that a championship tournament is needed in football.
2. PRODUCT: Potty targets: A friend told me about this “wonder product” designed to help boys with their aim when they progress to standing and suggested I use cheerios or fruit loops instead.  Good idea, but my son might dive in after the cereal.  When I mentioned it to my sister-in-law in front of her 20-something son, hysteria ensued! He wanted some and wondered if they had bull’s eyes on them so he could keep score, etc., etc. for a good 5 minutes.
3. ADVICE: Don’t tell your baby/toddler that his/her poop “stinks”: Warning! Warning! Political Correctness Overload!!!!  “Oh, no, your lil poops don’t smell, Sweetie. Animal poop smells, every other persons’ on the planet stinks, but not yours, Precious.”  This is EXACTLY what is wrong with some people today – no one has ever told them their excrement is malodorous.
4. PRODUCT: Training Pants that change colors when the child pees: I can only assume the panel for girls is as low if not lower on the pants as it is on boys.  In order to see when the colors have changed the child must bend almost in half to see between his/her legs. Wonder how many heads get banged or somersaults are started using these.
5. PRODUCT: Training Pants that feel cool when the child pees: When the child switches to underwear and it is warm instead of cold, what then? Plus, these are horrid for naptime use.  My Zip Van Winkle finally conked out for a nap only to be awakened 45 minutes later by an icy cold blast to his nether regions.
6. PRODUCT: Training pants and underwear with characters on them: I searched and searched but could not find any tighty whities.  Branded products for kids annoy me on general principle, but c’mon what is this obsession with branding my kid’s behind?
7. PRODUCT: Potty Seats that make noise: I have been blessed with a child that hates toys that make noise. I guarantee that if he sat down and it made a noise he’d never go near it again. Which reminds me of the story of the man that got a toilet seat that played the national anthem and he could never finish his business because he always had to stand up as soon as he sat down.
8. ADVICE: Check your child’s pants frequently to see if they are wet: After the second day, I was nervous that Child Protective Services was going to lock us up for groping our kid.
9. PRODUCT: $55 potty training dolls: These are advertised for use with the 1-day potty training method. $55! For one day’s use?!  Does this come with a money back guarantee to potty train in 1 day?  If I have to spend that much (plus the potty seat and other paraphernalia) this kid can just stay in diapers forever.
10. ADVICE?: The perfect parents that revel in telling me “my child toilet learned in 1 day at 12 months old”:  Be gone, before a house drops on your head!  No really, go back to your perfect little planet and leave me and my kid here in this little place I like to call the real world.

When we do get back to training we will probably use some of these products and advice, but for now all I can do is laugh and keep repeating the best advice I have received, courtesy of my Great Aunt Jeanne: “What’s the rush? He’ll do it when he is ready.”

Not Napping Today! Guest Blog Post

Sometimes moms of two-year-olds just have to laugh!  My friend wrote this letter to her 2 yr old toddler and I am sharing it with you today. 

Dear Catherine,

It's very sad that you did not want to take a nap today - especially after suffering from the flu this week. I admit I was slightly entertained listening to the monitor until you somehow whacked your head. That happened right after the mysterious jackhammer sounds.

I ran, tripping on two dachshunds, to your rescue (as any loving mother would).  After many hugs, kisses, and a few books, I thought you'd sleep - either from a concussion or fatigue. No luck.

After the final bout of high-pitched screams, now 1 1/2 hours into your so-called nap, I was surprised with your choice of entertainment as I entered the room a second time.  By tossing every single blanket and stuffed animal from your bed, I'm guessing you were thinking that you would like to be the first female replacement for Brady on the Patriots.  Some of your throws were so far that I thought you were trying for your own version of a Hail Mary pass.  Impressive indeed. 

Your throwing skills aside, I'm most impressed with your ability to remove your clothes and DRY diaper so that you could pee standing up all over the side of your crib aiming every so slightly left and then right so that you could pee between the slats of your crib making the hot urine contaminate the stuffed animals and linens you threw to the floor.  HOT?  Yes.  I believe that is the exact word you used to describe the pee, making me realize I ran upstairs only moments too late for the pee party.

I'm sure our adventures would have continued had Baby T not started screaming from her own crib, bringing our fun in your bedroom to an end.

But WAIT!  Since I couldn't take the time to wipe the urine off of you in your room, I thought it best to take you to T's room to wipe you down.  I never realized that you had grown quite fond of me taking your temperature all week.  I was  further impressed with your ability to lube up the thermometer that was sitting next to T's changing pad and attempt to take your own temperature where the sun doesn't shine - just like mommy does. This time your aim wasn't the best.  I hope you did not cause any internal damage in the moments it took me to grab a screaming Theresa from her crib. 

I suppose we can try for another nap this afternoon.  On second thought, maybe we'll just skip it.