Poop Covered Psycho

Three adults in this house and we all have colds, the three kids are just fine: energetic, playful, hungry, etc. 

Ten minutes before time to leave and pick up Gracie from school, Lexie was fast asleep on the recliner and since she feels the worst of any of us, I decided to let her sleep and I would take Charlie with me on my mom-taxi run. He was only wearing a diaper though, so I had to first find him something to wear. I grabbed a clean shirt and pair of shorts from the dryer and chased him down. 

He just finished lunch (which was why he was naked, who eats with clothes on?) and he was covered in gooey macaroni and cheese residue. He had it on his face, neck, arms, chest and belly.

I reached for him to clean his face and in doing so, I twirled him around to brace him against my legs and get a good firm hold on him while wiping him down with baby wipes. I yanked his fresh shirt over his head in the process. After twirling him around and clenching his little body with my legs, I realize he stinks. Oh, Lordy, he stunk!  I finished wiping his face in a couple of swoops and then stepped back only to find that his diaper wasn't holding it all in. 

I got poop all over my capri jeans, legs and a dollop landed on my foot. It was on his shirt, so that had to come off already too. I then realize he has it on his hands which he is using to hold onto my arms, which are now also slimed with fecal butter. So I scream at Lexie to wake up and charlie gets away. This makes me scream louder, like a poop covered psycho. In an instant he is standing on the bathroom counter and trying to wash himself in the sink with soap and toothbrushes crashing to the floor. Now I'm ramped up and start screaming at the little poop monster and Lexie finally comes to. 

Poop covered Grandma and poop covered toddler, both yelling at the tops of their lungs to Lexie for help. She's in a sleepy haze and the clock is ticking. Gotta go get Gracie from school!

I threw a towel on the floor and laid Charlie on it with instructions to STAY, and let Lexie clean him up, then I ran upstairs and cleaned myself up. 

I managed to calm down and pick up Gracie on time and without any leftover poop or mac & cheese smears on me. What a crazy ten minutes! Remind me to buy bigger diapers next time.