A Visit from the Toothfairy

The toothfairy left me two crisp new ten dollar bills.  Cha-ching! I was hoping for a Benjamin, but a couple portraits of Alexander Hamilton will do just fine. Gracie was impressed.

I spent the week in nervous anxiety.  I tried to just stay busy so that I wouldn't have to think about it much.  It was a good way to dodge thoughts of the orthodontic hell that I am putting myself through.

The dentist and orthodontist both said, "this will be easy, a piece of cake, you'll be fine" and other lies like that. I saw right through them though and didn't believe.  Good thing too.  I asked my friends to babysit for me and had the whole day covered between two sitters.  That turned out to be another good thing, having two, because one didn't show up so the other one babysat all day.

Friday Doomsday came and I drug myself to the dentist's office. I had to sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes. Let the anxiety build, gee thanks. I grabbed a book from my purse and flipped through it.  I had with me today, "14,000 things to be happy about. The Happy Book by Barbara Ann Kipfer".  It's a thick paperback and it is literally a list of 14,000 happy things and happy thoughts. It is the perfect book for when you are in the dentist's lobby wondering why you don't just bolt outa there.

I finally was called back and I had this surge of relief that the waiting was over, and a wave of panic because it was time for my torture. Only the waiting wasn't over. I waited another 30 minutes back in the chair, facing the wall, no movie playing on the ceiling. 

The dentist finally came over and gave me a bunch of shots in my mouth.  OW!  Plus I am really needlephobic, so getting eight shots in my mouth was really hard for my frazzled nerves.  I think he could tell by the uncontrollable shaking that I was doing. I also kept my eyes shut tight!  He said he'd be back in ten minutes.

I was good and numb, and really I know that I'd rather have all the shots in my gums than feel any of the pain that would surely go along with extracting teeth that are too big and not in the mood to move. He came back and I told him that I have a strange request, but I want my teeth. He laughed and said, um, Ok.  I told him I have a 5 yr old and she wants the toothfairy to come for me, so yeah.. then he seemed to understand.  He said to open wide and immediately began yanking them out. 

The sensation was weird.  And, I could hear it.  It was sort of a suction sound followed by a pop.  Suuuuck Pop!  Suuuuuuck Pop!  Suuuuuuck Pop!  Suck Pop! 

Then the dentist shoved my new holes full of guaze and told me no smoking and no drinking with a straw. See you in two weeks.

With big eyes, the dental assistant asked me if I was ok.  I shook my head no.  I'm sure I was pale and looked like I'd just been through hell, maybe because I had been?  But I sure wasn't ready to get up and walk yet.  I was lightheaded and dizzy and I wanted to puke.  I was afraid if I stood up I would pass out. She handed me a packet of gauze and an envelope of teeth.

So, I stayed in the chair for a few minutes and then I swung my feet over the side and gathered up my purse.  The dentist came over and asked if I was ok.  I nodded yes.  He said "What do you want for pain? Tylenol with Codine? Vicodin?" I motioned yes, Vicodin.  I'm not even sure what Vicodin is but Tylenol with Codine makes me puke and I sure don't want to do that!  He gave me a prescription and an appointment card for a follow up check. 

I managed to get out to my van and then I just sat for a bit.  I changed my gauze and it was so nasty! I had a headache like no other, but my mouth didn't hurt.  Yet.

I drove to Rite Aid and dropped off my prescription.  I just dropped it off and left because, my numb mouth was full of gauze and blood. No idea if they would fill it without hearing me answer all of the insurance questions.

Then I went home.  I walked in the door and and straight up the stairs to my room and shut the door.  Gracie saw me come in but she didn't say much.  Libby was distracted, thank goodness!  She was doing a puzzle with the babysitter.  Whew!  I changed the guaze again and laid down.  I must have slept pretty hard because I didn't wake up until three hours later and I was a mess.  The numbness wore off too.  That wasn't good.  I couldn't figure out how to swallow any ibuprophen so I just tried not to move, maybe I could get back to sleep. And I did sleep more. 

Keith came home a little after 5:00 and woke me up to tell me that he's home and he relieved the babysitter.  Really, I think I could have heard this big news later. Oh well. Since I was pretty well rested, I grabbed my book off of the nightstand and read for a while.  I managed to take a drink of water and since I could do that, I swallowed some ibuprophen. Hopefully that will help because I was in a lot of pain!

I told him to go get my prescription. He said "What's it for?"  I said "Vicodin"  He replied, "I have a big bottle of that in the cupboard!".  Really?  What on earth?  And then he reminded me that I've never had it before and it might make me really loopy.  That's why he had it, because he only took one and didn't want any more of that stuff.  And, he said I wouldn't be able to feed Libby.  Ah, forgot about that.  Why isn't she weaned yet, ugh. I decided against the Vicodin.  

After a close inspection, Gracie helped me put my envelope of teeth on the nightstand next to my bed. She decided that the tooth fairy wouldn't want to dig around under my pillow while I'm sleeping on it. I agree, that is awkward.  She said she would sleep on the floor next to me in her camping spot to see if she could see the fairy. She wants to know if she glows in the dark.  She slept too soundly to find out though.  In the morning she hopped up and checked the table; sure enough there was some cash!  "Mom! Mom! The tooth fairy brought you TWO dollars!"  Her eyes were huge!

I spent the weekend very slowly milling around the house, napping, reading and swallowing ibuprophen. I didn't eat much, too hard to do that. But I had  plenty of water and lived on my fat reserves.  I knew I grew some lovely curves for a reason!  The girls had a Daddy weekend and they seemed to really enjoy it.  He read them lots of stories, he let them use him as a horse, he fed them (they always love anyone who feeds them), and he let them play in the dirt and take bubble baths. They would check in with me from time to time, but for the most part they left me alone to heal.  That was really nice.  I am more rested now than I have been in  years! 

It's been a week now and I'm still in pain.  I can't speak clearly, I can't eat anything but mush or pudding, and I am just in pain.  It's been a tough week but I can see that I'm healing.  And I have the tooth fairy cash to brighten my world.  Yay!