Marriage and Dating

My husband called me from work on Friday afternoon, after 5:00 when he should have been on his way home already.  

Fridays generally go like this: He is happy to finish his long week at school and he is home by 4:30pm -or- he is happy to finish his long week at school and he comes home at 8pm. If he doesn't rush out of there and head straight home then I know he went out to have a bite to eat and a beer with his teacher friends. More Fridays than not, he chooses to go out with his friends. I get jealous. I've had a long week too and I don't have the option of stopping on my way home for some grown up conversation in a grown up only restaurant where they serve grown up food and nobody throws it on the floor. 

Anyway, it was Friday again and he called. 

Husband, "Do you want to go out on a date tonight?"
Me, "No. Well, not with you. I will with someone else though."
Husband, "What? Why?"
Me, "Because I don't want to try to find a babysitter. I'll have to date someone else so you can watch the kids."
Husband, "oh, ok. Actually, the date isn't with me anyway. Lora and Mirna want you to go out with them after I get home."
Me, "Awesome!"

We've come to a point in our marriage where we can only date other people.  Now, what should I wear?

Was lots of fun! My friend drives a BMW and she put the top down. So nice on a hot Cali night! 

We tried to figure out a place to go, ended up choosing a winery restaurant in Old Town, parked and went to the place across the street from the one we chose. Talk about indecisive!

 It was great, we did a wine tasting, bought a bottle, ate dinner and sat on the patio listening to live music. 

 

Had a ton of fun. I really enjoyed it and it was nothing like my husband would have done, so I extra enjoyed it because I always go places that he likes and he never goes places that I like (for restaurants).

An ankle comparison: Broken vs Sprained

Unfortunately, I can compare a broken ankle to a sprained ankle.

Broken Left Ankle:

Sprained Right Ankle:

*Same feet, two months apart, different cameras, strangely different colored skin tone, but whatever.

They look the same as far as the swollen deformity goes. But the difference lies in the PAIN!  Lefty hurt a million times worse than Righty; although, for a moment, I wasn't sure if Righty was broken or not, but then the moment passed and I knew that one was ok. Sprain pain is not nearly as intense as breaking a bone pain. But, sprain pain isn't any cup of tea niether.

I could not put the tiniest bit of pressure on my foot when I broke my left ankle a couple of months ago. But the other day when I sprained my ankle, I was able to get up and limp along on it. That's when I really knew it wasn't broken. 

The other difference is that when I fell and broke Lefty, I was all alone. I could cry and wince and wail all I wanted. I was free to express myself. When I fell and sprained Righty, I did it right in front of my whole family and another family. Had myself a good sized concerned crowd. I did the best I could to pretend that I didn't fall much, I was fine, nothing hurt much, and I just needed a minute and I'd get up. They weren't buying it, but I tried to sell my "I'm just fine" story.

I broke the left one killing a spider.

I injured the right one falling down one stair. I went down like an imploded stack of bricks. Or like a sinkhole opened up under a big brick building. Either way, I went down fast and hard, like bricks.

We were invited to our new friends' house. Such nice people, and they just moved to town . Keith and I went with three of our daughters and one grandson. We joked that we're an invasion, not a little visit. We stepped inside their house and said "Hi" and all of that small chatty greeting stuff. I took a few steps inside so they could shut the door and down I went. There was a step down from the entryway to the main room. I totally didn't see it!

I know it's there now. Not that they'll ever have my clumsiness over again.

There were 20 legs surrounding me all saying "Are you ok?" and lovely compassionate things like that and my husband saying "I can't believe you just did that". I know he wanted to laugh, and I wish he would have to lighten up the mood.

I sprained my ankle, hyper-extended my left wrist and got a big beautiful bruise on my right elbow. I really hit hard. Imagine what I could do with a whole flight of stairs!

School Started! Yippeeee!

I am one happy mama!  Why do they let school out for the summer anyway? Kids should be in school year round, maybe just swap out the teachers on a seasonal basis. My poor kids were bored all summer and they had to do horrible things: Chores.

Mostly Gracie did chores, Libby played with Charlie and kept them occupied and out of the way. That was a huge help! Gracie did dishes, laundry, vacuuming, taking out the trash, etc. She grew up a lot this summer.

Gracie started second grade. I remember when I was in second grade. Her school is very different from mine, but I'm sure she will have a good year. She's already off to a bad start with her attitude. She doesn't want to do any homework! This makes the homeschool portion of school more challenging. Sigh. I don't even want to think about what the future holds for this kid when she hits middle and high school and really has homework!

Because she's in Montessori school, she has the same teacher and is in the same classroom as last year. There isn't much of a change for her. I am happy about that, I remember and my friends are all talking too, of the anxiety of worrying about what teacher you would get for the next year and all of the unknowns. None of that for Gracie!  Well, some. More than half of her class was replaced by incoming students. The half that disappeared either moved or were in 3rd grade and they advanced to the upper elementary. I hope she makes some new friends, she loves having lots and lots of friends.

Libby is loving Kindergarten! Her class is full! There are 32 little students. I'm really not a fan of overcrowded classrooms. I sure hope it shrinks a bit more and I hope Libby doesn't get lost in the shuffle. The class had 41 students but they moved some of the siblings up to lower elementary to join the first grade in lower elementary. Libby is a sibling but didn't move up because she is still only 4 years old and has never had any preschool or daycare. The kids they moved up were either 6 or close to it and had preschool experience. I'm glad they left her in Kindy and I'm glad they made the decision and I didn't have to ponder what would be the best fit for her. Although, it would have been pretty cool to have both girls in the same class!

Kindergarten is off to a great start. Libby is in class with one of her little friends so she has a familiar little girl to hang with and isn't lost in a sea of strange little kids. I'm sure she would make fast friends, but it is comforting to know that she already has a little friend to start things off right. The class has already had a dentist come in and speak and they cooked a healthy snack in class on another day. Special guests and cooking in class in the first week - awesome!

The first day, I walked both girls to their classrooms and took a first day photo. The kindy class was so full of parents it was hard to squeeze into the room. But we made it in and found a little chair for Libby.  The second day, I only walked Libby to her class and helped her find her little friend. The third day, I drove through the car line and dropped them both off at the front gate. I didn't even get out! Gracie walked Libby to her class and helped her get settled in. I'm so proud of myself for sending my baby off to Kindergarten without shedding a tear or hovering too much. Yay, I'm growing up! 

So happy to have both girls in school! Poor Charlie spent a few lonely days waiting for 3:00 to go pick them up again. We'll have to find something fun to keep him busy while he has his alone time. He's not too excited about being left behind.

Driving the Mom-Bus to school

School starts tomorrow!  Time to think about how much the Mom-Bus is going to cost these kids, er, Daddy.

I think it is ridiculous that our school charges $395 per kid for a bus pass!  Second child gets a discount and pays $365. So I figured out how much it will cost me to drive my kids. I wouldn't bus them anyway because they go to a school that isn't serviced by the school buses, but that didn't stop me from being curious.

At $3.89 per gallon and 24 miles to the gallon in my car, I drive 3.21 miles to school. It costs me $1.04 to go one way and I do the round trip twice per day for 103 days of school. That's 1322.5 miles of driving back and forth to school. Total damage: $214.24.

A friend of mine takes her child to school via bike and trailer. She rides her bike and pulls him to school in the bike trailer every single day. Heat, rain, wind, stuffy nose, traffic, she pedals that kid to school. I'm not that amazing. Read about her transportation calculation HERE.

I figure that my kids won't attend every single day, but the times that I have to make an extra trip mid-day for the forgotten lunch box will make up for the times when they don't attend. It'll all even out in the end. For this guesstimate, I am just saying that they will attend every academy day and  never forget anything. And, gas prices will never fluctuate.

This calculation also does not include Starbucks stops on the way back home. Tee hee. Nor does it include professional driving and referee fees.

The public school bus would cost $760 or riding in my back seat costs $214. That's a total savings of $546.

Riding with me is a freaking STEAL! Good deal, people.

Mommy Meet Up

Almost 8 years ago, September 2005 to be precise, I went online to dig for information about pregnancy. I had just turned 40 and just found out a baby was on the way! Since my last baby was in another time and another place, I decided to see if I could read about prenatal tests and whatnot.

I found lots of information! Having babies in the digital age is fascinating! But the best thing I found was a forum. Real people discussing real pregnancies and real life.

And that's where I found my friends. My online mommy friends. Right there on the computer screen all those years ago! We went from the support group forum to our own forum to a facebook group. Over the years, we've really gotten to know one another. And we've learned a lot about each other's lives in various parts of the country. We "know" each other. It's weird, but I truly feel a bond with these women that I've never met. The friendships are genuine.

Thankfully, they all seem to feel the same way!

I've actually met quite a few of them in real life, but one at a time. They are all so nice and have such beautiful families. With this group of women, I have been excited each time I've met one of them and each meeting went very well. My kids have played with their kids. It's amazing that I found this great group of people!

Scattered as we are, there happens to be a fairly good size group of us in Southern California. Finally, we decided to all get together at once. Only a couple of the moms couldn't make it.

One of the moms offered up her house as the party place.  It was great! There were six of us that attended, and 16 kids! It was really nice to meet everyone and see these real people without a computer screen between us.

The kids all played together as if they knew each other all along.  They ranged in age from 10 years old to 1 year old. All of them looked like they were having fun and meeting new friends.

It was really fun. I'm so glad to call these mommies my friends! And now we are no longer online friends, we are real friends. That just warms my little heart!

My Ankle is Healing

My six week broken ankle checkup yesterday, which was actually seven weeks out, went well!

Before I left for my appointment, I asked the kids to go to the bookshelf and bring me a book to take along with me.  They brought quite a collection for me to choose from!
Read-To-Me Bedtime Stories
The Norton Anthology of Literary Theory and Criticism
Simplicity Halloween Sewing Pattern Catalog
and What to Expect - The Toddler Years

As it turned out, I was the last patient to check in for the day and there wasn't a soul in the place. I was in and out fairly quickly. No time to read! They sent me straight to Xray. I posed for my lovely photos and again was thrilled that I didn't have to wait. Back across the hall to the doctor's office and they put me in a room right away.

The nurse popped in and said "Do you have any pain?"  I said, "Yes." Without a word, she left. Ok.

The xrays are electronic, so the doc was already staring at my bones on his computer screen, all zoomed in and everything. He did that for a bit, then walked across the hallway to the little room I was in and took a look at my ankle.

He squeezed my ankle and asked me if it hurt! YES!!! And hitting my head on the ceiling hurt a bit too! Holy!

He said I have had significant muscle loss. The muscles are just gone, so I will need physical therapy. What took six weeks to disappear will take months to come back if I work hard at building them back up. Great.

The piece of bone that I broke off of the tip of my tibula is attaching itself back on in the correct position. Yippee! The doc showed me on the xray, and he told me that it was such a weird break. He said that usually a break like mine happens on the other side of the bone or higher up on the bone. I got lucky though because if I would have broken off a bigger piece of the bone or if the break was on the left side of the bone tip, then I would have had surgery. The structure of the ankle would have allowed the piece to slide out of position. But, where it was, being an odd place, turned out to be good because the broken piece stayed in place and is growing a bridge and reconnecting itself. Cool!

I'm not a fan of having surgery.

He said I can start limping around and putting a little bit of weight on it as I hobble around. Optomistically, I should be able to toss out the crutches in a couple of weeks. And, I can get rid of the boot before the end of August. He said I can wear my regular shoes after that. I said, "I wear flip flops".  He said, "get some tenna shoes". I thought so.

As I was checking out, my cell phone rang and it was my husband. I just told him I was at the dr's office and I'd call him later, but it was enough to interrupt my train of thought and I left the dr's office without making my appointment for physical therapy. Whoops.

I called to make an appointment, but guess what, my insurance doesn't cover it at the same place where I'm seeing the doctor. That makes no sense! In fact, the doctor's office isn't sure where I can get physical therapy because my insurance isn't covering much. Ugh. I'm seriously hoping someone at the insurance company wakes up!  They're being ridiculous!

I'm so excited that I dodged surgery and I am healing well! I need to get off of these crutches and get back to my normal life. I'm not a runner, dancer nor an athlete, but I do need both of my legs in good health to keep up with the kids and live my life the way I do.  Looks like I'll be back on two feet soon! Yay!

Life on Crutches

Life on crutches is not for me. It's been 6 weeks now (which is 6 weeks too many!)

I'm still in shock that my health insurance wouldn't cover crutches and I was lucky to have Anna's old pair in the garage. The insurance company must think people who have a broken leg are just going to... to... I don't know what they think! Someone at the insurance company needs to break a leg!

I am very limited on what I can do now, where I can go, and how long I can stand/hop on one leg. This is not fun. In fact, because of me spending the summer on crutches I can speak for the whole family and say that this has been the worst summer ever.

Pain
Obviously, my ankle hurts. Constantly! But it isn't excruciating pain, it's just pain. The swelling and pain have gotten better recently. I was beginning to think the swelling was permanent. That's just what I need, one Fred Flintstone foot.

The side effect of crutches is blisters on my palms, sore shoulders, aching right hip, knee and ankle (because that's the good side) and lots of headaches. The headaches are from losing my control-freakish ways of doing things.

I'm managing my pain with Advil and wine.

Walking:
Actually, hopping. I need a wide clear path to walk from point A to point B. It needs to be free of dust bunnies, laundry, shoes, clusters of dog hair, pennies, cheerios, glops of spilled Jello, slops of apple juice, and most importantly, legos. In the best of circumstances, it's hard for me and I'm not very steady.

I really had trouble the first week with walking on crutches. It takes some arm strength and some balance; I am blessed with neither. My friend brought me a wheelchair and I spent the first two weeks in it while I learned to hop on the crutches.

I should have taken the wheelchair to the doctor's office. The orthopedic doctor is located at the end of a long long long hallway, which was at the end of another hallway, which was after I hopped across the lobby and the parking lot too.

Every day, I almost fall down. I've only fallen three times where I had to put my broken foot down to catch myself from toppling over completely. Very painful. 

Stairs:
Stairs are awful! Every single day, I almost fall down.

The first week I didn't use the stairs at all, I slept downstairs and had my husband or kids bring me clothes. The next two weeks I scooted up the stairs on my butt and when I got to the top I crawled to the doorway of my bedroom where I used the doorjam to help pull myself up. It wasn't pretty but it was stable and I got there.

These past three weeks I've been hopping up using the railing and the crutches at the same time. It's not easy! My good leg and hip really bark at me by the time I get to the top. And I always pray hard that I'll make it without falling over backward.

Down is much easier, but it is still a challenge. This also took me a while to learn but now I can do it. I need time though. Lots of time.

Stairs at other places are not so easy. I had to use the stairs at the swimming pool when I took my girls to lessons, and the stairs were covered in dirt and leaves plus the hand rail was too hot to touch. I used the handrail anyway and just burned my hand. I figured a burnt hand was better than a broken neck.  They have a ramp, but it is a long hop around to use it, so I took the four stairs in front of the building.

Taking a Bath:
This is really a trick!  It takes some gymnastics and ballet and ninja moves. Sure wish I had skills in any of these areas because I'm the farthest thing from being a gymnast ballet dancer ninja type person.

Luckily, I can take my boot off to take a bath, so I don't have to wrap my leg in a garbage bag to get cleaned up. But, I cannot bear any weight on it or use my leg to balance.

Getting out is even trickier. I can't even explain how to do it. Once I'm all wet, the tub is wet, every surface is slippery.... it's a miracle I can even manage it. The fear of someone finding me stuck in the tub keeps me motivated. But I do have to hold my leg up in the air to avoid temptation to use it (or land on it in the inevitable fall). I'm sure this adds to the hilarity of it all.

Cooking and Cleaning:
I use a barstool in the kitchen to sit on while I do dishes or cook at the stove. I also open the second drawer from the floor as a stool to elevate my leg. It's too tiring to stand on one leg like a flamingo.

For cleaning, I discovered the wonderful assistance of a good pair of grill tongs.  I can reach higher and bend over just a little to pick up things off of the floor. Tongs are great! I can't really do much in the way of cleaning but picking up a little here and there makes a difference.

My husband has been doing 99% of the cooking and cleaning. And he's been training the kids, so he's not even doing it all. Actually, he's doing a great job.

Driving:
I can drive! The hardest part is getting in and out of the car. I put my crutches down the middle between the seats and my broken leg is my left leg, so it just lays there while Righty manages the gas and brake pedals.

I am broken, not handicapped so I have to park with the regular people instead of using the fabulous empty blue handicap spaces. 

Going Places:
I haven't been going places. I've only gone to a couple of birthday parties and the park for a couple of playdates. I've only gone if I had someone to  I am afraid to go shopping because there's no guarantee that I'll get a good parking space. If I get a close space, it's still a long hop to the front doors of any store. And then what? Hope for an electric scooter? What if they don't have one or the one they have is in use? It's just best if I stay home. I don't need to fall down in public. I don't want to end up on AFV or Youtube!

Losing Control
The hardest thing about being on crutches is losing control. I've had to let go of so much and just let life happen around me while I sit back and watch. I can't swoop in and do things my way, or save my husband the hassle. I can't sit here and bark orders and stress about what's happening or what we are missing. I can't walk, can't carry things, can't lift the kids, but I can't worry about all of that either. I need to heal up not tense up. So, I have had to work very hard on letting go of being in control.

Although, I admit, it's pretty cool to see that "How the hell do you do this every day?" look on my husband's face. Poor guy looks like a deer in the headlights almost all day long. I stifle my laughter to be polite (usually).

Watching jeans and pinks and towels all go into the same load of laundry hurts almost as much as the pain in my ankle. Seeing a kid sneeze and not be able to leap across the room with a kleenex before she wipes her snot on her sleeve is agonizing. I'm suffocating my inner control-freak or I'll burst. Nobody wants that!

Countdown
I am counting down the days until I'm back on two feet! At my next doctor appointment I will either be cleared to start limping or sent to surgery. It all depends on how I'm healing. I've spent the last six weeks doing nothing but healing, so I hope to prance out of that doctor's office like nothing ever happened. That's how it works, right?