Life on Crutches

Life on crutches is not for me. It's been 6 weeks now (which is 6 weeks too many!)

I'm still in shock that my health insurance wouldn't cover crutches and I was lucky to have Anna's old pair in the garage. The insurance company must think people who have a broken leg are just going to... to... I don't know what they think! Someone at the insurance company needs to break a leg!

I am very limited on what I can do now, where I can go, and how long I can stand/hop on one leg. This is not fun. In fact, because of me spending the summer on crutches I can speak for the whole family and say that this has been the worst summer ever.

Pain
Obviously, my ankle hurts. Constantly! But it isn't excruciating pain, it's just pain. The swelling and pain have gotten better recently. I was beginning to think the swelling was permanent. That's just what I need, one Fred Flintstone foot.

The side effect of crutches is blisters on my palms, sore shoulders, aching right hip, knee and ankle (because that's the good side) and lots of headaches. The headaches are from losing my control-freakish ways of doing things.

I'm managing my pain with Advil and wine.

Walking:
Actually, hopping. I need a wide clear path to walk from point A to point B. It needs to be free of dust bunnies, laundry, shoes, clusters of dog hair, pennies, cheerios, glops of spilled Jello, slops of apple juice, and most importantly, legos. In the best of circumstances, it's hard for me and I'm not very steady.

I really had trouble the first week with walking on crutches. It takes some arm strength and some balance; I am blessed with neither. My friend brought me a wheelchair and I spent the first two weeks in it while I learned to hop on the crutches.

I should have taken the wheelchair to the doctor's office. The orthopedic doctor is located at the end of a long long long hallway, which was at the end of another hallway, which was after I hopped across the lobby and the parking lot too.

Every day, I almost fall down. I've only fallen three times where I had to put my broken foot down to catch myself from toppling over completely. Very painful. 

Stairs:
Stairs are awful! Every single day, I almost fall down.

The first week I didn't use the stairs at all, I slept downstairs and had my husband or kids bring me clothes. The next two weeks I scooted up the stairs on my butt and when I got to the top I crawled to the doorway of my bedroom where I used the doorjam to help pull myself up. It wasn't pretty but it was stable and I got there.

These past three weeks I've been hopping up using the railing and the crutches at the same time. It's not easy! My good leg and hip really bark at me by the time I get to the top. And I always pray hard that I'll make it without falling over backward.

Down is much easier, but it is still a challenge. This also took me a while to learn but now I can do it. I need time though. Lots of time.

Stairs at other places are not so easy. I had to use the stairs at the swimming pool when I took my girls to lessons, and the stairs were covered in dirt and leaves plus the hand rail was too hot to touch. I used the handrail anyway and just burned my hand. I figured a burnt hand was better than a broken neck.  They have a ramp, but it is a long hop around to use it, so I took the four stairs in front of the building.

Taking a Bath:
This is really a trick!  It takes some gymnastics and ballet and ninja moves. Sure wish I had skills in any of these areas because I'm the farthest thing from being a gymnast ballet dancer ninja type person.

Luckily, I can take my boot off to take a bath, so I don't have to wrap my leg in a garbage bag to get cleaned up. But, I cannot bear any weight on it or use my leg to balance.

Getting out is even trickier. I can't even explain how to do it. Once I'm all wet, the tub is wet, every surface is slippery.... it's a miracle I can even manage it. The fear of someone finding me stuck in the tub keeps me motivated. But I do have to hold my leg up in the air to avoid temptation to use it (or land on it in the inevitable fall). I'm sure this adds to the hilarity of it all.

Cooking and Cleaning:
I use a barstool in the kitchen to sit on while I do dishes or cook at the stove. I also open the second drawer from the floor as a stool to elevate my leg. It's too tiring to stand on one leg like a flamingo.

For cleaning, I discovered the wonderful assistance of a good pair of grill tongs.  I can reach higher and bend over just a little to pick up things off of the floor. Tongs are great! I can't really do much in the way of cleaning but picking up a little here and there makes a difference.

My husband has been doing 99% of the cooking and cleaning. And he's been training the kids, so he's not even doing it all. Actually, he's doing a great job.

Driving:
I can drive! The hardest part is getting in and out of the car. I put my crutches down the middle between the seats and my broken leg is my left leg, so it just lays there while Righty manages the gas and brake pedals.

I am broken, not handicapped so I have to park with the regular people instead of using the fabulous empty blue handicap spaces. 

Going Places:
I haven't been going places. I've only gone to a couple of birthday parties and the park for a couple of playdates. I've only gone if I had someone to  I am afraid to go shopping because there's no guarantee that I'll get a good parking space. If I get a close space, it's still a long hop to the front doors of any store. And then what? Hope for an electric scooter? What if they don't have one or the one they have is in use? It's just best if I stay home. I don't need to fall down in public. I don't want to end up on AFV or Youtube!

Losing Control
The hardest thing about being on crutches is losing control. I've had to let go of so much and just let life happen around me while I sit back and watch. I can't swoop in and do things my way, or save my husband the hassle. I can't sit here and bark orders and stress about what's happening or what we are missing. I can't walk, can't carry things, can't lift the kids, but I can't worry about all of that either. I need to heal up not tense up. So, I have had to work very hard on letting go of being in control.

Although, I admit, it's pretty cool to see that "How the hell do you do this every day?" look on my husband's face. Poor guy looks like a deer in the headlights almost all day long. I stifle my laughter to be polite (usually).

Watching jeans and pinks and towels all go into the same load of laundry hurts almost as much as the pain in my ankle. Seeing a kid sneeze and not be able to leap across the room with a kleenex before she wipes her snot on her sleeve is agonizing. I'm suffocating my inner control-freak or I'll burst. Nobody wants that!

Countdown
I am counting down the days until I'm back on two feet! At my next doctor appointment I will either be cleared to start limping or sent to surgery. It all depends on how I'm healing. I've spent the last six weeks doing nothing but healing, so I hope to prance out of that doctor's office like nothing ever happened. That's how it works, right?